Do I have things to be grateful for? You betcha! Has my life took a turn the past few months that have been the hands down hardest time of my life? Yes! However, as I was laying in bed the other night mourning my life. Yes mourning. I mourn who I was and what my life has been. Yet then I paused for a second. What did I lose? On the outside. Nothing. I still have a great family. The most patient, loving, compassionate husband in the world who has been there for me even in the darkest moments. Great kids who are fun, happy and just good kids. Friends. Great friends who just care and are good...friends.
Inside, I struggle everyday. It's different than depression. Although it is that . It's also a chemical feeling of despair, fear, anxiety, this-is -so -not-me kinda feeling.
But today I have hope. It's small, but nonetheless there. Hope in better days. Hope in healing and Gratitude for what I have to help me get there.