"I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, 'Never mind! I'll do it myself.' Erma Bombeck

As a mom, I want to be a good one.  I want to provide a good, comfortable home for my family.  However, that is not the only job I have as a mother.  Someday, eventually, we want our kids to leave and when they do we want them to be capable, functioning adults. 
There needs to be a balance.  I think our family's  balance got off and that's why there was some resentment and this mama was fed up.  My kids were expecting me -the mom- to do it all without exerting their own effort in maintaining the house.  Granted, I take blame for some of it in doing too much for them. 

The kids have always had expectations.  Make your bed; Clean your room;  Do your homework;  Help with dinner etc.  Yet despite these expectations things were not getting done.  They didn't feel that ownership or responsibility.

 I haven't read the book The Entitlement Trap by Linda and Richard Eyre, but I have read excerpts.  According to what I've read, the book proposes that  our children in this affluent society feel entitled (spoiled?) to receive privileges without any effort on their part.

I put a new Reward system in place.  It's called the Minor Accountability Plan.  Basically it gives points each week for jobs done.   Those points are cashed for money.    This system is pretty similar to what I had before, yet there are also consequences if they do not earn a certain amount of points.  They lose privileges.  Privileges that hurt.  (The older ones lose their privilege of having a phone)

As a mom, I love my children, yet sometimes as the legendary Erma Bombeck says we are punishing our kids when we do it all.  We are not letting them grow into normal, functioning human beings that contribute to our society , not to mention a much happier mom and home now.

My Child's Eyes

I wrote this poem years ago, yet lately I've been thinking a lot about it. 

We are heroes in our child's eyes.  We can be frustrated with them, and be less than perfect parents, yet they love us with such an unconditional love.  That love amazes me everyday. 

My Child's Eyes

Sometimes we imagine

A single moment in time

When we'll be the hero

With our own time to shine.

When the world will seem

To stand completely still,

And see you become whole

As your dreams are fulfilled.

Tho' the moment may not

Come by worldly acclaim

recognizable praise,

Nor with fortune and fame-

That moment of truth

I've come to realize

Is found everyday

In my own child's eyes.

Having A Christ Centered Home

I was just wondering what happened to October. I don't remember much of it. Anyway it's November folks and it's time for a new Virtue of the Month in the Minor household. And well, the roses haven't been blooming here lately so I've done some drastic measures. o November we will focus on Having a Christ Centered home. This is from a talk back in April Conference by Elder Richard J. Maynes.

I loved the story he shared from his grandson about roping. He said: Families can be like ropes. When only one person is working hard and doing what is right, the family will not be as strong as when everyone is putting forth the effort to help each other.

So we are going to make our rope stronger this month. How? Well we are doing Minor Boot Camp for starters. Minor boot camp consists of rules that we will enforce heavily and some added ones as well.

What I hope to accomplish from this besides some sanity, order...but Elder Maynes puts it beautifully. "When parents preside over the family in love and righteousness and teach their children the gospel of Jesus Christ by word and through example, and when children love and support their parents by learning and practicing the principles their parents teach, the result will be the establishment of a Christ-centered home"